Farewell and Rest in Peace to my Lovely Cat Friends

I've written before about animals passing, and how I've been able to help them and their human carers. It's something I feel privileged and honoured to be able to do. I feel happy for them knowing they're moving on in peace, but sad for those they leave behind.

Over the last two months I've been personally tested in this way too, as I've had to say goodbye to a number of cats I've come to love very much, as well as some others I've not known so well. It's difficult to write about, and I must admit I've put off writing this post, although I knew I had to eventually. To leave it out would be to leave out something so big and important, such that the other posts would almost seem pointless. And then something happened this week which told me the time was right. So here goes.....

My birthday is just before Christmas, and it was a quiet day, just before the Christmas rush started. I try to get to Animals in Distress at least once a week, and it seemed perfect. Go to see all my lovely animal friends on my birthday, and bring them lots of love and Reiki cuddles.

I got there and started to walk towards the office as usual, to get an update on who'd been homed, any new residents, etc. But I didn't get that far, as Brian - one of the regular staff - came walking across the yard towards me with a serious look on his face. His news was devastating. They'd been hit by a cat flu bug so vicious that it had very quickly killed nearly all the cats they were caring for. I felt I'd been hit in the heart, and I could see and feel his pain too.

Now, at a sanctuary this is one of those things than can, and does, happen from time to time. But never usually with such speed and severity - thankfully that is extremely rare. Given that people bring cats in with all sorts of backgrounds, most of which we'll never know, there is a good chance that some of these will be carrying the virus. But mostly the virus will lie dormant unless there's a trigger to set it off.

If a cat does start to show symptoms, they have a tried and tested process to contain it so that none of the other cats will even be aware there's been a bug around. And most of the time this works well. One or two cats might be lost, but the majority will never know, and things can continue as normal.

All this could be helped of course, if people would take their cats along to the vet once a year for their injections/boosters and a health check. It doesn't cost much, and to help people, there's often an amnesty for a month every year where people can bring their cats (and dogs) in to have them immunised for free. Then, even if strays are brought in that have maybe lapsed and are carrying, the rest of the population will stand a better chance if they've had their boosters regularly.

So, I went into the office, and sat with the other staff. The mood was very sombre, and although they had to go about their jobs - they had other animals to care for too - it was clear that this was all very difficult for them to bear. I could go home after my visit, but they had to return day after day to somewhere that had such sadness associated with it. They do get used to it up to a point - after all, it's the nature of the job. But the scale of the loss was almost too much to take.

While I was sitting there though, they were working hard trying to find good things to talk about. It gave them the opportunity to give all the cubicles and pens a really, REALLY good clean (although I have to say they're always scrupulous), and they showed me some pictures of a cat that had recently been rehomed, with a lovely letter from his new person, telling us how well he was settling in. This helped us all.

I went home, and since then have been sending them regular Reiki - to help them all to cope with the devastating loss. There were also a very small number of cats who had survived up to the point of my visit, so I also sent them Reiki - to help to strengthen them against the virus, and to bring them comfort, as they will have been acutely aware of what had happened to their friends. As you do at times like this, you find yourself trying to find answers - why did this happen?

A few days later the big freeze started. As we all know, much much colder than we've known for a long time. There were a couple of cats still in the outside cattery - which is where they go when they're ready for rehoming - and they were moved inside. Had the inside cattery been full, as it nearly always is, there would have been nowhere to put these cats, and it would have been extremely difficult to keep them warm. Even the water in their water bowls was freezing up, so they couldn't drink. It was then that I could start to see that some good came out of the very sad event a few days before. Who knows - many of the older and weaker cats may not have been able to survive the cold.

I lost some great friends, some cats who had been with us for a while, who had proved to be difficult to rehome, but had great characters, all the same. Some I had become particularly close to. It was very hard.......

So, then headlong into a very busy (and challenging due to the weather) Christmas and New Year period, which was probably what I needed. It helped me to put things in perspective, to be with cats who were healthy and thriving. It also reminded me that although we lost a few cats in that awful week, it was a drop in the ocean compared to the cats that are rehomed by Animals in Distress every year. The great majority do, and always have done, go on to lead happy, healthy lives in new homes.

The last couple of weeks it's calmed down a little, and I've been back to looking after some of my regulars. I've taken care of Oscar and Felix for a couple of years, going to see them whenever their person, Kath, was working away or on holiday. Lovely, gentle boys who were rather shy at first, but became incredibly warm and soppy. I'd grown to love them very much.

Oscar had some tummy problems from time to time, with little episodes of sickness, which had always been checked out by the vet but nothing serious found. We'd had a pretty clear couple of weeks, and things looked good, so when I went back in last Monday I wasn't surprised to see that no little presents had been left for me. However, just after he'd had his food, up it all came, and then even more.

He went back into the bedroom and sat under the bed - so clearly wasn't feeling his best. I went and sat on a little stool in the corner, and started to send him some Reiki to try and help him with whatever it was he needed. He then crawled out and lay on his scratchpad by my feet, continuing to soak up the Reiki. Felix would come up and sniff him from time to time - he could also tell that Oscar wasn't feeling well. I stayed with him for as long as I could, to ensure that he was comfortable.

I texted Kath to update her as I always do, and said that if he wasn't feeling better by the next day I could stay a while longer (and I thought, if necessary, I'd take him to the vet). However, he'd suffered with similar symptoms before, more than once, and got over it a few days later. It was really nothing unusual for him.

As I walked towards Kath's front door the next day something told me that Oscar wasn't going to be there to greet me. Don't know how I knew, I just knew. So when I opened the door, and only Felix was there I wasn't surprised. Sometimes Oscar is a bit lazier, and is still dozing on the bed, so I thought that's where he'd be. Well, he was in the bedroom lying down by the tall window that goes down to the floor - looking like he was watching the world go by. But as I approached I could tell that he was no longer with us.

I stroked him for a while, and talked to his spirit, and told Felix what had happened. He looked very peaceful, lying in his favourite place. And he had had his brother with him, taking care of him until the very end. They had been brothers since the start, litter mates, and together for 15 years. I know that that was the way he wanted to go.

Of course, I had to tell Kath, and that has to be the hardest phone call I've had to make. Obviously completely distraught, she jumped on a train and headed back home. I waited with Oscar and Felix until she got there, making sure that Felix was ok as I didn't want him to be on his own, and then taking Kath and Oscar to the vet, where we left him for cremation. Felix and Kath are both grieving, but helping each other to heal. And I'm there for them whenever they need me, and sending them Reiki to help each day. Miss you Oscar, you lovely, gentle boy.......

I looked after Bentley and Tiger for the first time at Christmas, and was also booked to take care of them from tomorrow while Ana goes on holiday. On Wednesday evening I had a call from a very distressed Ana. Bentley was the older cat, at about 15, and had had some toilet problems while I'd been there at Christmas, and apparently this hadn't got better. From what Ana was describing it sounded like kidney problems (very typical in cats), but of course it could be a number of other things.

I asked if she'd taken him to the vet. She had done about 6 months previously, and was planning to again after her holiday. I took a deep breath and said I didn't want to upset her, but told her about Oscar. And Bentley's condition did seem a lot more acute. So she did the right, and very brave thing, and took him to the vet on Friday. I had a call from her mum yesterday to say that Bentley had been put to sleep. I hope that Ana can enjoy her holiday, and I know there will be lots of tears for Bentley while she's away. Imagine if she'd been worrying every day she was away whether he was ok, and worse, if I needed to call her to let her know he'd passed away?

Bentley was ready to go, but like most animals had kept going on for longer because he cared for Ana. I was a little confused about Oscar at first, as he and Felix also have (had) a very strong bond with Kath. But he's told me since that he has been hanging on for a long time too. His signs weren't as obvious and he was very good at masking any problems - as many cats are. He felt that the right time to go was when Kath was away; that she could cope with that better. He knew he had bis brother with him always, and they were very close at the end.

I'm off to see Tiger in a bit, and will see how he is coping without his friend. Of course, he'll get plenty of Reiki to help him, and lots of cuddles from me.

So, this very sad post is dedicated to the memory of all those lovely cats - Oscar, Bentley, and the Animals in Distress cats too numerous to mention. Peace and blessings with you all, always, and with those you've left behind. xx